A Wanted Child

Assalammualaikum wrt wbt.

I am now in IMU library, cracking my brain to absorb all the Pathology facts i should be memorising.
And i decided to write something to divert my attention for a while. Well, can't be reading textbooks all the time right?

Last Monday, on Oct 12th, Prof Yadav gave a lecture on Maternal Health.
And one of the facts he gave was 40% of the births in the world are unwanted or mistimed.
That literally means, out of 10 of my readers, 4 are unwanted in this world.
Sad, isn't it?
So automatically (i think all my batchmates are thinking the same), i wondered if my birth was wanted.
Was my birth mistimed?
Did my parents planned to get me?
But i decided not to ask them.
Part of it because i'm scared of the answer (what if i wasn't wanted???)
And part of it because i knew even if i wasnt planned, my parents do not reject me.
They still accept me, as a gift from God.
So, there is no point of me asking.

But last night, i went to my parents and told them,

"Do u know that 40% of the births in this world are not wanted or mistimed?"

And they agreed.
My father said some of his friends even complained to him when their wives get pregnant, blaming the wife for the pregnancy.
And for me that is stupid.
As if they do not contribute to the pregnancy.
As if the wife went for a walk in the park, or went shopping in a market, and come back pregnant.
They should never complain that their wives are pregnant!

Ok ok, back to my story.
While discussing the topic, my parents assured me that i WASN'T UNWANTED.
My mum wanted me desperately at that time.
She had miscarriageS before me and so she even went to the extent of getting a jab( i don't know what jab) to prevent me from slipping off her uterus at that time.
I had no idea i was that wanted.
Haha...

And why am i writing this?
Well, it cherished my day.
To know that i was badly wanted in this life.
So yes, it's a booster for me to perform well in my exam so that i won't frustrate those who love me. =)


-AkMaR-
http://akmarr90.blogspot.com

Surviving day by day...

Assalammualaikum.

I think lately i have been posting emo shout-outs and posts in both my blog and facebook wall.

But i'm getting better now.

I'm learning to adapt myself to the situations, no matter what happens.

Haha.. I don't want to make this post an emo one too.

So let's just stop here.

But i am still surviving and alive.

Life is a test.

-AkMaR-
http://akmarr90.blogspot.com

Lol!! Lol!! Lol!!

Assalammualaikum.

Can i grunt here?
Can i grunt, and scold and curse and express my frustration here?

Can i babble here?

Can i rant here?

I wrote a lot of opinion posts, summary posts and news extract and comments posts.

If i rant and grumble and express my personal emotions here, will this blog change?

Will this blog suddenly turn immature?

I don't know, some may think that way. Some may not.

And i don't think i shd care much abt it.

It will only hinder me from writing in my own blog.

So yes, now i want to rant and grunt.

Why did u do that?

How could u do that?

What did i do that i deserve that?

Cis cis cis cis cis.....

Cis cis cis cis cis.....

Cis cis cis cis cis.....

I dont think i wanna curse here, i dont even curse in real life.

But i'm frustrated, and i'm being patient.

Yes, i'm patient.

And i'm tolerating.

And i am me.

That's all.

-The End-

Night.

4 weeks left

Assalammualaikum.

Yes, 4 weeks left, before a lot of things happen.

4 weeks left, before my End of Semester exam.

4 weeks left for me to revise my 1 year study.

4 weeks left for me to value the time left.

4 weeks left for me to live heartache life.

4 weeks left....

After 4 weeks?

Only Allah knows....

Holiday, for sure.

I don't think i wanna find a part time job this holiday, though i usually have the intention to, just not in the mood this time.

The rest?

I don't know.

How abt next sem?

I don't know.

Only Allah knows, and He decided what will happen to me, even before I was born.

What i'm supposed to do know is to go thru it, and make the best out of it.

Uhuh... Sounds very easy.

But it definitely is not.

4 weeks left................

Dear.....

A beautiful song, by Christine Glass.
Title : My Love Will Get You Home
The lyrics are beautiful, and meaningful.
Specially dedicated….
Listen and feel… =)



If you wander off too far, my love will get you home. 
If you follow the wrong star, my love will get you home. 
If you ever find yourself, lost and all alone, 
get back on your feet and think of me, my love will get you home. 
Boy, my love will get you home. 

If the bright lights blinds your eyes, my love will get you home. 
If your troubles break your stride, my love will get you home.  
If you ever find yourself, lost and all alone, 
get back on your feet and think of me, my love will get you home. 
Boy, my love will get you home. 
 If you ever feel ashamed, my love will get you home. 
When there's only you to blame, my love will get you home. 
If you ever find yourself, lost and all alone, 
get back on your feet and think of me, my love will get you home. 
Boy, my love will get you home.
 
If you ever find yourself, lost and all alone, 
get back on your feet and think of me, my love will get you home. 
Boy, my love will get you home, 
Boy, my love will get you home.
To listen to the song, click here. 

Don't Israel's nuclear weapons count?

The Sun 30 Sept 09

by Yasmin Alibhai-Brown

LEADERS of the rich nations have turned their fire on Iran, quite rightly. Last week came news

that the Islamic Republic had been building a secret uranium enrichment plant near Qom. Then the junta fired test missiles. Unlike Iraq under Saddam, there are, in Iran, nuclear developments

that could lead to weapons of mass destruction. It is not an immediate but a future danger, say credible intelligence experts and indeed Barack Obama himself.

Suddenly the president has got uncharacteristically belligerent, instructing Iran to open up all its nuclear facilities for inspection if it wants to avoid “a path that is going to lead us to confrontation”. In May, Obama stood in Washington with the hawkish Benjamin Netanyahu, who we were told was there to seek assurances that there would be no shift from the conventional US position of total and unconditional support for Israel’s policies right or wrong, known and clandestine.

The US, China, Britain, France, Russia and Germany meet in Geneva tomorrow and, by that time, Iran will be expected to submit to international scrutiny. As a supporter of the now crushed and broken reformers in Iran, I back the ultimatum to the fanatic and bellicose Iranian president, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. But what about that camel in the room? The one we all see but can’t point out? What about the only power in the Middle East, also fanatic and aggressive, which has a stockpile of weapons enough to obliterate the region? Listen people, we need to talk about Israel. And soon. Like now.

I have been in contact with a young Iranian woman who wore a green scarf and lipstick on the streets of Teheran, whose uncle is being tortured in prison there for demonstrating against the results of the election. Somehow she escaped from the country and is in Britain briefl y before going on to the US to make a new life. Let us call her M.

Nobody could hate Ahmadinejad more than M; she hates the whole regime, the treacherous leaders who betrayed the people. When she speaks she often gets asthmatic. But yet, but yet, she finds her passions rising for her country this week because of fears of military strikes by Israel and the manifestly unfair way that Israel is indulged. “I will go back if they attack my country, even if they put me to jail,” M says. “That is my duty. Israel is the enemy of peace and America gives them money to get more arms. I don’t want Iran to have these terrible weapons, but Israel must also be stopped.”

The big powers are moving tentatively towards global de-nuclearisation, taking small but significant steps to show they do want everyone to pitch in. Obama’s decision to shelve the European defence missile programme shows serious intent, so too Gordon Brown’s announcement that Britain would cut down from four to three its Trident missile-carrying submarines. There was a moment this spring, albeit fleeting, when Rose Gottemoeller, an assistant secretary of state and Washington’s chief nuclear arms negotiator, asked Israel to sign the Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty, thus breaking the 40-year-old silence and US complicity in its accumulated, un-inspected arsenal. Her reasonable appeal provoked apoplexy in a nation that assumes special, indeed exceptional, treatment.

In the 1960s, Israel successfully hid its weapons from US inspectors. In 1986, Israeli nuclear technical assistant Mordechai Vanunu revealed information about the concealed stockpiles and has been punished ever since. Hubristic Israel no longer cares to deny that it has hundreds of atom and hydrogen bombs and devastating biological “tools”. Netanyahu has been warning he will destroy the Iranian sites if his country feels the danger is real. Now he has just what he wanted, another crisis in the Middle East, to keep up the idea of plucky, vulnerable, endangered little Israel.

Alarmingly, even the liberal Israeli newspaper Ha’aretz is on his side. History has made too many Israelis fear all humanity in perpetuity and that fear brings out the worst in that nation. It has predictably rejected the long, sober, unbiased UN report on the last assault on Gaza chaired by Richard Goldstone. He accused Hamas of crimes against Jewish civilians and charged Israel with grave crimes, the breaking of the Geneva convention, punishing and terrorising unarmed civilians.

I have some images of these victims sent to me by a Jewish pro-Palestinian activist. Children turned to ash, blistered mothers weeping, and on and on. There still is no respite for the hungry and dying in Gaza. If Israel can mete out such treatment and not be called to account, just think what the state feels entitled to do to Iran.

The Israeli human rights activist Gideon Spiro bravely asks that his country be subject to the same rules as Iran and all others in the Middle East: “Rein in Israel, compel it to accept a regime of nuclear disarmament and oblige it to open all nuclear, biological and chemical facilities and missile sites to international inspection.” The US has leverage because it maintains and funds Israel. If Obama shies away from this, there can be no moral justification to go for Iran or North Korea or any other rogue state. And the leader whose election and dreams gave hope to millions thereby hastens the end of the world. – The Independent

Akmar says:

IMU has a corner for free copies of The Sun newspaper. And everyday i'll take a copy for myself. What i have been observing so far is The Sun looks like a pro-Israel newspaper. Sorry to say that, but that's my opinion. It's up to the readers whether or not to trust.

My arguments are they always feature brief news abt the imaginary country; be it the PM of Israel admitted to the hosp, or Israel doesn't want to cancel their invasion plan into Palestine. All the news are written such that ignorant readers will feel that Israel is just like any other country in the world, as The Sun did not provide ANY counter-argument to say that Israel is not a country that has a right to exist.

But luckily, this piece of article was published.

And I love it.

But that doesnt mean i'll change my view towards The Sun.

Israel, an imaginary country built on the land of the Palestinians, doing purely evil things on the oppressed and being backed up by the-so-called most powerful nation on earth, the Americans.

Am i too direct?

Perhaps.

But that's the truth....

-AkMaR-

http://akmarr90.blogspot.com

Metamorphosis

Assalammualaikum.

I hvnt been writing for quite some time now.

Too many things to study, I felt guilty everytime i face the computer, it's as if i'm wasting my time when there are A LOT MORE SUBJECTS to study on.

Someone told me that he feels like a machine.

Then i realised, yes i hv been feeling the same too.

Wake up in the morning, get ready to uni, breakfast, go to uni, study in lib, lecture, lunch, study in lib again, go home, refresh, study, sleep.

The next day, the same thing all over again.

I did not mention praying here but that doesnt mean i don't pray k....

Why metamorphosis?

Why not metaplasia?

Those two means changing of shape.

Well, the first applies to ALL naturally occurring change while the latter applies to cancer cells (i think so, i hvnt revise that yet).

So yes, i'm undergoing metamorphosis now.

Not that i'll evolving into a beautiful butterfly tomorrow (i wish i could, then evolve back into a girl)

As my mum said, i'm undergoing the training to become a doctor, so yes, living like a machine is parts and parcels of it.

People made us live like that.

We just hv to follow that rule to survive in this so-called modern world.

I dont know, i think so.

Just now i told my mum i'm having headache.

But she didnt hear clearly, she asked back, "Heartache or headache?"

Come to think of it again, i think i'm having both.

I hv been talking abt heart vs brain for few years already.

There are times that my heart and my brain go against each other.

I'm NOT talking abt the heart that is pumping blood and the brain located in my skull.

I'm talking abt the heart and the brain which differs us from other creatures on Earth.

Brain does things logically while heart, do things "heart-ly".

I dont think there's much meaning things i pointed out in this weird post of mine.

I just feel like ranting....

Haha...

Ok la, that's all.

I gtg to pray now.

Then dinner, and continue my Pathology revision.